Ways to Annoy People ...

Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you are practicing getting on a bus.

Start each meal by evidently licking all your food, and announcing that this is so no one will "eat your grub".

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Speak only in a "robot" voice.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

Sniffle ceaselessly.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Name your dog "Dog."

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbours upstairs for "violating your airspace".

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in official papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbours you are a "spider person."

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophecy."

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Drum on every available surface.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Set alarms for random times.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Dress only in clothes coloured Hunters Orange.

Wear your pants backwards.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question?

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

Light road flares on a birthday cake.

Leave tips in unknown currency.

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

Ask people what gender they are.

Lick the filling out of all the cream biscuits, and place the cookie parts back.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. Like a parakeet.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.


Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Sit around and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Wear a LOT of cologne.

Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

Ever been to an Opera? Sing along if you do.

Mow your lawn with scissors.

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

Listen to the same song over fifty times.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

garanteed to work on people with low self esteem !!! :)